On The Road

Here’s another poem, this time from my road trip across California a couple of weeks ago. Enjoy!

I’m driving with the windows down because the air con is broken
The shadows from the trees so tall are keeping me cool
My road is winding, wide and open
But still I can’t help feeling like a fool

I spent a day with the San Francisco bay
We shared stories and joked with the wind
The painted ladies asked me to stay
But my time there had to come to an end

I saw a dolphin in Yosemite
And the sun set the horizon on fire
I was filled with a sense of serenity
Standing on California’s spire

I cheated greed in Las Vegas
To suck me in he wasn’t able
I drew a line at having fun
When I put my cards on the table

I stopped taking photos in Arizona
My shots of the Grand Canyon were unjust
I spent my time questioning my persona
As the afternoon sun turned to dusk

Side-projects

A wise man once said ‘creativity is the catalyst of life’. Actually it wasn’t a wise man. It was me. Just then.
So I am trying to align myself with such a notion by writing as much creative stuff as I can. My latest project is a sitcom based on my experiences of coaching soccer in America. Here’s a snippet of episode two. Enjoy!

Scene 3
The boys are in the car pulling up to a field.
Mark: Decent sized field. Could easily do a tournament towards the end of the week.
Nick: Any chance of just doing one all week?
Dan: what’s the name of the co-ordinator again?
Mark: Jamie something. Sounds like a right prick.
Dan: (Looking out of the window) Prick isn’t the word I’d use.
A beautiful blonde is sanding there, with a clip board in soccer shorts and shirt.
Mark (Looking heavenwards) Thank you God. Maybe this week won’t be so bad after all.
They pull up and get out of the car.
Mark: Jamie! Mark Nappierella from English Soccer Camps. I must say you weren’t quite was I was expec..
Jamie: (Cutting him off) I thought you Brits were impeccable time keepers?
Mark: Yes, well, sorry about that. Someone wanted to stop for food. (he looks slyly at Nick, who is munching on candy).
Jamie: Well we’re here now. (She’s very proper, and organised and a little uptight). Here’s your rosters and I’ve put those who are all on the same team in bold. Also there is a list of camp rules, as well as some suggestions for you guys, you know, how to look, what not to say, how long activity breaks should last, that sort of thing.
Mark: O…k
Jamie (ignoring him). Also, here’s some extra games I thought might be good. (She hands him a folder, he starts to struggle with all the paper work). I trust there won’t be any problems this week but if there are here’s my cell phone number. I only work a few blocks away from the field, so can be here in a few minutes.
Mark: oh right, great. Thanks for all that Jamie. He drops a few papers.
Jamie: Right, must be off, pilates in 20 minutes. See you guys at the end of camp.
Mark: Er…I…ok. Thanks Jamie.
He drops all the papers and looks down at them despondently.
Dan appears.
Dan: How did it go? Did you work your magic?
Mark: Well I made her disappear. Does that count?

Expect to see it never aired.

Washing Machine

It has been said numerous times on the pages of this blog that my mind is a mess. Like a washing machine stuck on ‘go’ it is churning myriad thoughts around in a perpetual motion with no apparent ending in sight.
Now and then someone opens the door and a thought shoots out and lands on this blog, splattering onto the pages with little consideration for arrangement. It needs someone to wring them out and fold neatly.
I really need someone to switch my washing machine off and shift thought my thoughts, iron them out and arrange them. I need a dryer.

A Week Off

This week is something of a rarity – a week off from work. I’m using the opportunity to take in a few sights around California that I haven’t yet seen. I managed to rope in two other coaches and we’re in the midst of a whistlestop tour of the state.
We started by taking in one of the world’s most famous roads – the Pacific Coast Highway, which winds its way up the west coast of California, from San Diego to San Francisco. We joined it in Los Angeles and followed it all the way up to the home of the Golden Gate Bridge.
It’s not often I use hyperboles in this blog but oh ,my, god, the views were amazing. It was hard to keep my eyes on the road as we twisted and turned around some of California’s stunning coastline. As we climbed towards Big Sur the low lying clouds met the water and created a spectacular view. It looked like what I would imagine heaven to be, the clouds close enough to walk on, hovering over the earth below. Of course, I’ll never actually make it to the land upstairs, so this is the best I’ll have to deal with.
When we got to San Francisco, we dumped our bags in our grotty little hotel and headed out to the bay. We did all the usual touristy stuff which you can see on about a million other websites, but they were views that had to be taken in. the synchronised swimming of the cars down Lombard Street – the world’s self-proclaimed crookedest road, the eerie silence of Alcatraz, San Francisco’s famous roads slicing up the city into neatly formed cake slices, and the quaint houses lining the streets like giant Liquorice Allsorts.
From there we headed to Sacramento to see my friends Rob, Laura and Lauren, and the six of us took in a movie at the drive-in theatre. How quintessentially American.
The next leg of the journey took us to Yosemite National Park. Thanks to some ‘controlled’ forest fires that got out of control (a mere 90 acres of ash turning into 6,000) we had to turn back from one entrance and drive two and a half hours to another.
The views in Yosemite over the canyons looked like a painting of a Hollywood backdrop. They didn’t look real.
As sun set we drove to a viewpoint overlooking Half Dome, a giant mountain peak that has been sliced in half thanks to water erosion, or something. Thanks to our set back earlier in the day we knew we were fighting a losing battle against the sun to get to the viewpoint in time to watch sunset. So we put our foot down and raced towards the summit. It was like a Top Gear challenge – the boys in the Ford Focus versus the biggest star in the sky.
And you can guess who won. Wrong! The boys in the Ford Focus. Jeremy Clarkson would be delighted.
Two nights later we were having fun in Old Town Vegas, which I found to be much more fun and friendly than the normal part of the Strip that everyone frequents. Yes I returned to my hotel $40 down but the drinks were free all night, so that’s ok. Right?
What amazes me about travelling is the generosity I encounter, from a small gesture like someone guy jump starting your car at the drive in because you ran down the battery watching the film, to larger ones like your friend’s dad letting you ad your two travel buddies who he’s never met before stay at his house.
The final leg of our tour was the Grand Canyon, in Arizona. I decided to stop taking photos at this point because my stupid little camera was not doing any of the views anywhere near enough justice. The sunset over the canyon and the following thunderstorm kept me captivated for what felt like days.
So numerous sights crammed into a mere seven days, but a trip I owed to myself. Thanks, self.

Confidence

Being in the presence of someone who is better at something than you can have two effects: 1) Their ability can rub off on you or 2) watching someone do exactly what you’re doing only ten times better can make you feel insignificantly worthless.
For me it was a bit of both when I found myself working next to a coach who was about a million times better at everything than me. He has an instant rapport with the kids, he was enthusiastic, his games flowed from one to the next and he gave off an aura of knowing exactly what he was doing. I am the complete opposite and during the week I felt like a kid who was shadowing this other coach.
It was like I was a newcomer to soccer coaching, never mind that it’s my fourth year with the company. I’m probably the most experienced coach on the West Coast in terms of hours with MLS Camps, but last week I felt like a beginner.
I felt like this other coach connected better with my group than I did. He could have easily coached both groups and I would have been totally redundant. It gave my confidence a pretty sharp jab in the face, confidence which wasn’t that high anyway.
Yet weirdly, I found his exuberance rub off on me. We had a clinic coaching the parents on Saturday and when it was my turn to take a session, I sprang into life. I heard bits of this other coach come out of me and it made me feel like I an actually do things and I might, actually be half decent at this. I think when you are so uncertain about your future you grab onto any little thing that defines you. A decent coaching session here and there makes me feel like I am worth having around. For a bit anyway.

Pain

Where do you feel pain?
In your flesh or in your head?
I feel it in my heart
Each time I hear your name
For the time we left unspent
Together, made my soul drain
All its blood

Time

Man defined time, but time dictates man.

Lucky

I learnt recently that people of the Mormon faith have callings to help the church during their life, at the moment I feel like I’m still waiting for my life calling.
I know this leg of my American adventure ends at the end of the year but as of yet, I have no idea what’s next. Part of me wants to stay on the west coast of America, staying with the fantastic families I’ve met and enjoying a life that is miles away from life back home. Part of me wants to return home to the friends and family I miss a lot. Another part wants to continue travelling but somewhere else, maybe South America, maybe Africa, perhaps Europe. Some other part wants to start a new life, somewhere, doing something else. I can’t win.
But I think this summer has been my best ever working in America. I’ve been working for six week and collectively I’ve had the best family housings, I’ve probably had a few of my best camps ever – for kid behaviour and ability – and the bunch of other coaches are probably the best group I’ve been involved with.
Yet I’m still left wanting more. A few times during the summer I’ve had to stop myself and say: “I’m here in a beautiful house in California/Utah/Oregon sharing dinner with a great family/watching the sun set over the pacific ocean. I am so lucky.”
I’ve been so lucky with the families I have stayed with. They have all been unbelievably warm and welcoming, and I’ve just slipped into a comfortable mode almost as soon as I’ve got there. For most of the summer I’ve become one of the family each week as I move around the west coast. I’ve got on so well with everyone vie met, the families, the kids, the coaches, I’ve been counting my blessings but something has just dawned on me: maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m the reason I am getting on well with everyone. Maybe I’m actually quite likeably, and friendly, and chatty and engaging. If I wasn’t, would I be getting on with everyone so well? Maybe, but maybe not.
Coaching three hours a day means you have a lot of time to yourself. Most people fill this time at the beach or watching TV but I spent it thinking.
I am constantly thinking about the next step, about what I’m doing ere and what I should be doing.
All the while I’m in one place it feels like I’m missing out on being somewhere else. And missing out on the people there. I guess I’ll never be completely happy, but summers like this at least give me something to enjoy along the way.

If…

If you were an orange, I’d be the peel
If you were a metal pole, I’d be the steel
If you were a candle, I’d be the wax
If you were a lumberjack, I’d be your axe

If you were a computer, I’d be the mouse
If you were a home, I’d be the house
If you were a field, I’d be the stream
If you were asleep I’d be your dream

If you were a piano, I’d be the keys
If you were a yawn, I’d be a sneeze
If you were a bag, I’d be the handle
If you were a foot, I’d be your sandal

If you were a letter, I’d be your envelope
If you were a bath, I’d be the soap
If you were cereal, I’d be the box
If you were a shoe, I’d be the socks

If you were a coach, I’d be a cushion
If you were lobbying, I’d be the petition
If you were a sweet, I’d be the wrapping
If you were a laser gun, I’d be the zapping

If you were a teacup, I’d be the saucer
If you were a book, I’d be the author
If you were an oven, I’d be the heat
If you were a patio, I’d be the concrete

If you were an iPod, I’d be iTunes
If you were a party, I’d be the baloons
If you were a gallery, I’d be your art
If you were a body, I’d be your heart

Palos Verdes

I drive up, into the clouds, I feel light-headed
I’m in no doubt that I feel ok
I have postcard views of the Pacific, they’re terrific, and if it ended tomorrow
You could leave me where I lay
I speak a different language, but it’s the same
No I’m not from down under, don’t make the same blunder
And to my blue skys add thunder and rain
My mind is serene, my body calm, my soul is coasting
I’m a million miles from home, but in no way feel alone
And I’ve grown, just read my latest weblog posting
I miss you more than I can describe, but it’s alright
I’ll see you soon, of that I am sure. And I implore, to explore
What’s in store in this world
Before the next chapter of my life