…

Speaking of masturbating, I’ve lost a lot of men over the years. Good men. Sent over the top to an early death. And for what? So the General can feel good about himself?

Body Shocks

My body is falling apart. Little by little.
To start with, I’m losing my hair. Ok, I’m getting a bit of a receeding hairline, but it’s the start of a slippery slope. Secondly, I am starting to get back pains in my lower back which each day feels like it’s getting smaller and samller, and is dragging the rest of my spine down with it.
To top it off,  my eyes have decided to stop working. It’s got so bad that I cant even read road signs when driving anymore.
My esteemed friend Dave (on reflection, esteemed is a bit generous. Anyway.) warned me that if I dont get glasses soon I could be blind by the time I am 40. Seeing as I’m nearly 24 that leaves me 16 years until everything goes dark.
16 years of good sight, I’d better put it to good use.

I’m off to look at porn…

Facebooked

I’m boycotting Facebook. Not withstanding the fact that I spend most of my waking (and probably some sleeping) hours on the bloody thing, I have decided to stop using the site because it winds me up. All I ever see is people having fun, enjoying life. Ooh, here’s me at a party. Look, I’m getting drunk with my friends, aren’t I cool?

Well, I’m not having a good time and I don’t want your hilarities shoved down my throat. I just dont get anythig done either when I’m on facebook, I get sucked into a world of crap photos and pointless applications. No I do not want to be a fucking pirate, or give someone a chocolate heart.

If anyone wants me I’ll be in the basement…